I bought no gift this year
And I slept with your sister
I know I should have thought twice
Before I kissed her
But with the year we had last
And the dress that she wore
I just went along for the ride
And I came back for more
And I'm sorry baby

That's all ok hunny cause see...
I bought no tree this year
And I slept with your brother
I wrecked your daddies car
And went down on your mother
I set your record collection on fire
And said I never knew
Felt kind of bad about that
And I know you did too

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me
Who the fuck anyway wants a christmas tree
'Cos the snow keeps on falling even though we were bad
It'll cover the filth, we should both just be glad
And spend spend spend this chris-christmas together

I married you last year
Bet you thought I was sober, right?
But I was drunk as a skunk and I made a mistake
This could all have been over
Oh hunny please don't
Excuse your behavior
Cause I hired a hit man and changed your will
It's now all in my favour

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me
Who the fuck anyway wants a christmas tree
'Cos the snow keeps on falling even though we were bad
It'll cover the filth, we should both just be glad
And spend spend spend this chris-christmas together
Holding on without any reason
Cause something's strong this holiday season

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me
And who the fuck anyway wants a christmas tree
'Cos the snow keeps on falling even though we were bad
It'll cover the filth, we should both just be glad
And spend spend spend this chris-christmas together