Oh Jesus, brenda! Let me tell you that
This cabaret show I saw last night.
My God, what a piece of can be trash.
The light then is drag queen, I forgot a name
Jinkx monsuner, I don't know

Comes out, wild hair, gore makeup
Slurry outfit. She was the worst and
Her piano player give me a headeche
This girl was all comedy, no glamuour
I tell you was one a big piece of crap
I ever had do and doer

I like to propose a toast!
Here's to the ladies in drag, everybody clap.
Covered in makeup to hide all our sags
Spilling cocktails in our laps.
Off to a show or to a party; complaining we're fat.
And looking low, while sipping bacardi; adjusting our hat
Cause let's face it, does anyone but
A drag queen still wear a hat?

I'll drink to that.
And here's to the girls
Who play smart, aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes in
Performance art, knowing it won't pass.
Another long, exhausting night
The drag scene can be risky.
You lose a heel, get in a fight; thank
God for cheap well (?) whiskey.
I'll drink to that.
And one for rupaul

And here's to the girls who wear crowns
Aren't we too much (ha, ha, ha)
Running around in our high heels
And gowns, thinking we're too much.
The ones who follow the rules; and use
The appropriate tools, too gorgeous to care if we're fools…
Aren't they a gem? I'll drink to them!
Yes, I'll drink to them!

And here's to the girls who just watch, aren't they the best?
When they get depressed it's a bottle of scotch, plus a little jest (?).
Another chance to disapprove, another brilliant singer
Another reason not to move, another vodka stinger
I'l drink to that!

And here's to the girls on the show, everybody tries
Look into our eyes and you'll see
What we know, everybody dies!
A toast to the invincible crew (?)!
The divas in size 15 shoes
Let's hear it for the girls with up-dos
Everybody rise! Rise! Rise!