Follow the way of the cheesy crumpet,
Thin on top, full of goodness,
The crumpet is my leader, bakes itself for me,
Sacrificing itself to stop me from starving.

Praise the cheesy crumpet,
thou hast triumphed over evil
Praise the cheesy crumpet,
thou hast triumphed over evil

There was a man called Dave,
He ate 3 a day,
His hair went green,
In spite of his belief

Praise the cheesy crumpet,
thou hast triumphed over evil
Praise the cheesy crumpet,
thou hast triumphed over evil

Personally I don't like crumpets,
I just don't like cheese,
It's disgusting.