Who am I? Do you recognize me?
Of course you don't, I'm nobody
I have no money, I have no name
I tear the tickets at the Hall of Fame

I buy my dinner at the 7-Eleven
Eat it in the kitchen while I watch TV
I like my free time and I love my wife
You'll find my number on the B-side of life

Once I got lucky, I had a band
We had a song, it got to number 3
Made lots of money, made lots of friends
Had lots of pretty people hangin' 'round me

Now all I want is a place to hide
To feel safe from the chaos outside
A cold refrigerator, a warm bed
A place where no one will stick a gun to my head

I buy my dinner at the 7-Eleven
Eat it in the kitchen while I watch TV
I like my free time and I love my wife
We're happy living on the B-side of life

We had the key to the city
But the rooms it did unlock
Were full of overpriced portraits
Engaged in cheap small talk

So turn out the lights, turn up the radio
Don't know the singer but I love that song
I know that I'm no Baryshnikov baby
But I wanna dance with you all night long

I'll buy you dinner at the 7-Eleven
We'll eat it in the kitchen while we watch TV
Tonight's my birthday, let's have a party
I'm thirty with a bullet from the B-side of life