All women are crazy, All women are crazy, Todas as mulheres são loucas, All men are dumb. All men are dumb. Todos os homens são burros. 'Cause though we know they're crazy, 'Cause though we know they're crazy, Porque apesar de sabermos que elas são loucas, We still want some. We still want some. Nós ainda queremos um pouco. It's nothing new, It's nothing new, Não é nada novo, And it's sad but true: And it's sad but true: E é triste mas é verdade: That we just can't quit 'em, That we just can't quit 'em, Que nós não podemos ficar sem elas And we can't live with 'em, And we can't live with 'em, E não podemos viver sem elas What's a man to do? What's a man to do? O que um homem deve fazer? Back in the bible Back in the bible Votemos a Bíblia There was a tree There was a tree Havia uma árvore Lord said to Adam, Lord said to Adam, O Senhor disse a Adão "Don't you eat that fruit" "Don't you eat that fruit" "Não coma essa fruta" He said, "Fine by me." He said, "Fine by me." Ele disse: "Tudo bem por mim." But then along came Eve, But then along came Eve, Mas então veio Eva, Looking to do wrong. Looking to do wrong. Procurando fazer coisas erradas. And on account of her curves, And on account of her curves, E por conta de suas curvas, And his lack of nerves, And his lack of nerves, E da sua falta de nervos, Adam went along. Adam went along. Adão foi junto. 'Cause all women are crazy, 'Cause all women are crazy, Porque todas as mulheres são loucas, All men are dumb. All men are dumb. Todos os homens são burros. 'Cause though we know they're crazy, 'Cause though we know they're crazy, Porque apesar de sabermos que elas são loucas, We still want some. We still want some. Nós ainda queremos um pouco. It's nothing new, It's nothing new, Não é nada novo, And it's sad but true: And it's sad but true: E é triste mas é verdade: That we just can't quit 'em That we just can't quit 'em Que nós não podemos ficar sem elas And we can't live with 'em And we can't live with 'em E não podemos viver sem elas What's a man to do? What's a man to do? O que um homem deve fazer? Take my old lady, Take my old lady, Peguei minha velha esposa I bought her a gown. I bought her a gown. Comprei-lhe um vestido We were fixing We were fixing Estavamos prontos To go out mixing To go out mixing Para nos misturar Out on the town. Out on the town. Na cidade. She said, "Do I look fat?" She said, "Do I look fat?" Ela disse: "Eu estou gorda?" I said, "Heck no! I said, "Heck no! Eu disse: "Claro que não! Just a little round..." Just a little round..." Só um pouquinho..." And since that day, And since that day, E desde aquele dia, I've walked this way. I've walked this way. Eu ando dessa forma. It hurts to sit down. It hurts to sit down. Dói para sentar. 'Cause all women are crazy, 'Cause all women are crazy, Porque todas as mulheres são loucas, All men are dumb. All men are dumb. Todos os homens são burros. 'Cause though we know they're crazy, 'Cause though we know they're crazy, Porque apesar de sabermos que elas são loucas, We still want some. We still want some. Nós ainda queremos um pouco. It's nothing new. It's nothing new. Não é nada novo, And it's sad but true: And it's sad but true: E é triste mas é verdade: That we just can't quit 'em, That we just can't quit 'em, Que nós não podemos ficar sem elas And we can't live with 'em, And we can't live with 'em, E não podemos viver sem elas What's a man to do? What's a man to do? O que um homem deve fazer? "---Fellas, there comes a time in every woman's life... About once a month, to be exact. When they get all ornery. Oh, they start kicking and fussing and fighting and... We don't know what's wrong with them. In about a week, they generally come around... And they'll look you right in the eye, too, and they'll say: "I'm sorry, honey, I was just PMSing." Now, ladies, I feel for you, I really do. It's not an easy thing to go through. But since we already know the outcome, I'd like to propose an experiment: Fellas, the next time your woman gets crazy. I'm gonna guess, about a month from now. I want you to look her right in the eye and I want you to ask her "Honey, are you sure you're not just PMSing?" And then grab you're gonna your balls and run for the hills!---" "---Fellas, there comes a time in every woman's life... About once a month, to be exact. When they get all ornery. Oh, they start kicking and fussing and fighting and... We don't know what's wrong with them. In about a week, they generally come around... And they'll look you right in the eye, too, and they'll say: "I'm sorry, honey, I was just PMSing." Now, ladies, I feel for you, I really do. It's not an easy thing to go through. But since we already know the outcome, I'd like to propose an experiment: Fellas, the next time your woman gets crazy. I'm gonna guess, about a month from now. I want you to look her right in the eye and I want you to ask her "Honey, are you sure you're not just PMSing?" And then grab you're gonna your balls and run for the hills!---" "--Colegas - chega um momento na vida de cada mulher... Uma vez por mês, para ser exato. Quando elas estouram todos os limites. Oh, elas começam a chutar e se agitar e brigar e... Nós não sabemos o que há de errado com elas. Em cerca de uma semana, elas geralmente vêm por aí... E elas vão te olhar bem nos olhos, também, e elas vão dizer: "Me desculpe meu bem, era só a TPM" Agora, senhoras, eu sinto muito por vocês, eu realmente entendo. Não é uma coisa fácil de passar. Mas como já sabemos o resultado, eu gostaria de propor uma experiência: colegas, a próxima vez que sua mulher fica louca... Eu vou chutar, cerca de um mês a partir de agora... Eu quero que você a olhe bem nos olhos e eu quero que você pergunte a ela: "Querida, você tem certeza que não está apenas de TPM?"... E então você vai pegar suas bolas e correr para as colinas!--" When I met my lady, When I met my lady, Quando eu conheci a minha esposa, And asked for her hand. And asked for her hand. E pedi a mão dela. She was the calmest, She was the calmest, Ela era a mais calma, And the sweetest girl in all the land. And the sweetest girl in all the land. E a menina mais doce de toda a terra. But then the ring went on, But then the ring went on, Mas, então, o anel chegou, And she went all wrong. And she went all wrong. E ela ficou toda errada Like a midnight thriller, Like a midnight thriller, Como um terror de meia-noite, She went BrideZilla, She went BrideZilla, Ela se tornou a "NoivaZilla" Spat pea soup and become a killer, Spat pea soup and become a killer, Cuspiu sopa de ervilhas e se tornou uma assassina She ate three kids She ate three kids Ela comeu três filhos And my auntie's wig And my auntie's wig E peruca minha tia And the pastor's dog. And the pastor's dog. E o cão do pastor. Why?! Why?! Por que? 'Cause all women are crazy, 'Cause all women are crazy, Porque todas as mulheres são loucas, All men are dumb. All men are dumb. Todos os homens são burros. 'Cause though we know they're crazy, 'Cause though we know they're crazy, Porque apesar de sabermos que elas são loucas, We still want some. We still want some. Nós ainda queremos um pouco. It's nothing new, It's nothing new, Não é nada novo, And it's sad but true: And it's sad but true: E é triste mas é verdade: That we just can't quit 'em, That we just can't quit 'em, Que nós não podemos ficar sem elas And we can't live with 'em, And we can't live with 'em, E não podemos viver sem elas You just can't shoot 'em, You just can't shoot 'em, Você não pode simplesmente atirar nelas Or you'll end in prison. Or you'll end in prison. Ou você vai acabar na prisão And the biker from Hell, And the biker from Hell, E o motoqueiro do inferno In your prison cell In your prison cell Na sua cela de prisão Might take a shine to you. Might take a shine to you. Pode dar um polimento em você.