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Departure

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once upon a time there was
a house in no man's land
voices could be heard, inhuman
voices not of man
but no one seemed to notice
maybe they didn't care
their saint simply couldn't
be the demon living there
beloved was he, idolized
by all he chanced to meet
so hidden was his other life,
so secret and discreet
but i awoke in his abyss
i knew it all too well
this place was no eden
but the darkest depths of hell
a timebomb ticking endlessly
waiting for an opportunity
any time and any reason
bleeds from you everything
within his chamber lived a slave
she granted his every whim
he made it clear to his dear
she was nothing to him

and she believed it true
believed his every word
but one night in the wake of his
wrath, something strange occured
she opened the door and we headed for
a place so far away
there we'd start a new life
and there we would stay
but it was not to last
she was consumed by the past
and dragged me back to hell
with all its memories, aghast
from behind white walls i watched
the world change around me
i did not anticipate that
it would soon surround me
what once i thought were guardians
denounced me, crucified me
condemned me to exile for the
life they had denied me
but you know it all too well
you brought me back to stay
tried to sell me to your master
"i didn't understand" you'd say

well it doesn't matter now
i hope you both die alone
should any see your nature
you'd be cast from your throne
you don't deserve my life
you don't deserve my name
you don't deserve my presence
you're all the fucking same
i dream a little dream
one wish i hope comes true
to never again taint my eyes
with the sight of you
i hope you realize
you wear a thin disguise
when you pass you'll find nothing
and not a soul will cry

you dress yourself in rags
and believe you're nothing more
that's why forever you will be
empty, a wandering whore
i curse the name of god when
i think of the innocent souls
bound by blood, broken, all
they know's a world of cold
but their day has only just
begun and mine's long overdue
i must take the first step blind
it's something i must do
this world is so strange
men live their lives for dust
i see things a different way
just trials that i must
endure to achieve those things,
those lives i hold so dear
twenty years and counting,
still i have not run away from here
here i sit awaiting nothing
just like before
home can be a prison
with an unlocked door
will i ever leave the safety
of this comfortable cell?
live as an actor
in a play of life itself?
i take a long drag
from my cigarette,
leaving what's behind me blurred,
breathing in regret
the time has come
the hour draws near
no time to think about it
the answer's clear
this i do for you my love
i do for things to come
i can't ignore this any longer
the world holds a loaded gun
what was i thinking?
what was i doing?
why was i hiding?
how could i have been so blind?






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